Saturday, 28 November 2009

Gulp

So I woke up feeling sick. The Filipina Mom barges in and starts venting about something I barely care about and vaguely remember. The pillow over my head seems to be utterly useless at this point, and I manage to get 10 minutes more sleep, when I then feel my throat and I don't even want to get out of bed.

Funny it's not even a short story.

I roll out of bed and hit the floor with both my feet, in a manner I always do to get my lazy bum out of its abode. I seriously hate sleeping cause it's boring but once you get me started its a vice. So the sudden horizontal fetal position to vertical rise gets me out of bed, and of course Mom is still bickering away.

Hit the bathroom, whilst simultaneously flipping the laptop open. Check my sites, check my mail.

Mom still continues bickering, whilst I send a reply to Shereen who's had me worried sick.

Monique keeps me company while I reply to everything that went on while I was asleep.

Lunch.

Back online - interrupted by the family in Philippines - Mom's using my laptop then.

Back online ...again.

Turns out she's not dead hahaha. So that's all bliss.

I accidentally drink out of a rusty can of juice, and I wonder if I'm going to get tetanus.

It's 8.51Pm.

I'm not feeling well.

and I'm Dead BORED.


Sunday, 22 November 2009

Let's Play.

So I'm currently at Nico's place right now, sprawled on the bed with Lester wasting his life in front of the PC as usual. Soo cute.

The rest of their family including Nico are in the living room watching TV.

I'm bored senseless.

Better Than Me

I know it's messed up that I'm naming the post after a song done by Hinder, even stranger that I'm currently listening to it though I've always had my personal opinions on their lifestyles... haha.

Let's start with an update. I'm single and I'm happy.

Since everyone can't keep to themselves [: and want to know the reasons for the breakup.
It's plainly like this, I made a cute little promise to myself that I'm going to try to be serious with the chicas, though it upset alot of my hombres I think I'm sticking to it (at least for the remainder of this year [: ).

Honestly, I didn't want to be unfair to her, and to clarify things. No third parties were involved and it was done quietly. I take full responsibility for the breakup, it was my personal decision. I don't really think there was anything for me to hold on to in the relationship, though she was sincere in everything that she did (at least to me), for my own personal reasons I discontinued our relationship. It wasn't rumours, it wasn't another chick and I don't hate her.

I just didn't want to be unfair. and hurt her more in the long run.

I feel bad about it - heck any guy would - I'm not an insensitive robot okay?
And yes I guess that there was love in the beginnning and it would be pretty much more unfair if I denied it so.

Was it infatuation?
I don't really want to comment on that right now.

I've hurt alot of people this month.

* * *

Secondly.
This part of this entry is dedicated to you, and you know who you are.

I never meant to hurt your feelings, maybe I didn't really reciprocate what you felt for me. But that doesn't erase the fact that you mean alot to me and I'm not going to throw our friendship away because of an inconsistency in our current relationship.

I never meant to hurt you in any way consciously, look I already know I'm arrogant and cocky, but to get all that from you, who I thoughtt understood me?

It hurt me somewhat as well okay?

Love?

Seriously, I love you. Probably not in the way you would want me to do so, but I don't know why I don't.

Look I don't want you to blame yourself and I want you to blame me instead okay?

It is my fault.
You're a wonderful person, I don't deserve you, maybe it's because I'm not ready for someone like you.

You'd make an excellent girlfriend. Even a wife. :]

You mean alot of me, please just don't throw that away.

* * *

Look guys, I'm arrogant, inappropriate, cocky, very blunt and a giant womanizing flirt, but that doesn't make me that bad of a person.

It doesn't.

And I know sometimes it's hard for me to say this to some of you concerned.

"You all certainly deserve much better than me".

Especially the chicas [:

But kidding aside. I'm bloody human and I get hurt too. When someone falls for me and I can't return their feelings I get hurt as well. You want to know why?

Because that's the time where your ego inflates, does a dance and realizes that you've hurt someone. Hurting someone, is even more worse than getting hurt.

Cause there's nothing you can do about it.

Nothing.

* * *

You all want to know why I'm not in a relationship?

I'm not a douche, I was.

I used to break alot of hearts.

But I guess this time I'm a more matured douche. [:

Though I tell the truth bluntly, it's still the bloody truth.

* * *

I read your last entry.
You have nothing to be sorry for.
It's my fault.

You want advice?

I'll contradict your sentence,
your friends are not you,
at the end of the day; it's you who call your own calls and not them.

My ate once told me something, "a relationship Renz is between two people, not your circle of friends, not your family, not your barangay"

* * *

To non-Fili people my apologies

[:

* * *

As for me.
I choose to hope, make my own decisions and fall in love. If I were to get hurt?
I'd take it in the face like a man and move on and love like I've never been hurt.
Funny ay? So quotable, I'd pinch my cheeks right now if I could. Haha
Even though I've got an impenetrable facade I still have a heart and if you dont believe that, I'm sick of explaining myself.

It's my life, I worry about all of you too much sometimes. I should start making decisions that make me happy, because at the end of the day, I can only do so much for your life and it's still my life that I lead not yours.

Me?

I'm quite angsty right now. But of course I'm yearning.

As I've always said again and again: "Who doesn't want someone crazy over them and you're crazy over that person as well".

I'm a tad bit too optimistic I guess.

But you know.

I'm not scared to fall in-love and accept my faults, know why?

Happiness isn't received, it's lived.

I choose to be happy.

[:

Monday, 5 October 2009

Farah

Okay folks.


I know this will come as a surprise to you all but I have to get this out.


I have a girlfriend. Her name is Farah.


She's beautiful.


* * *


Well to be honest it's been a really weird journey from the start, we haven't even passed the traditional stages of "being together" as people and a lot of you would call it. It's funny how we both realize that we don't know so many things about each other, but choose to just let everything take its course and "be happy". We've pretty much disregarded most of the conventions a serious relationship might incur but you know what we're happy.


I guess every relationship is weird. Not that I'm a leading authority on them (it's a fact that this is my first serious relationship), but I guess we'll see in time.


It's been 3 days and I want to see her like crazy. I guess I've followed Kal's advice and used my heart for once, over-analyzing aspects won't make you happy, the heart might be underneath the brain but it's pretty dead center on you.


I also guess not everything has to follow a convention, so what if we don't even know what pet names to use, or what our past histories have in detail... there's plenty of time for that later. :)


Well take it from me folks, it's either I've matured and used my heart for once, or I'm pretty loco.


:)


Maybe a little bit of both.


Love you baby.




Tuesday, 29 September 2009

I seriosuly need to get back into shape


When I look at the mirror, crap I don't wanna look at the mirror right now.


I've been as Najla would put it "wasting yourself for far too long Bestie *frown* *sigh* *stares* *gives an intimidating look* *continues staring*".


(Do you know how long it took me to write that? My gosh.)


Well the day was pretty uneventful, I guess it was pretty bliss if you ask me. (Hints. Hints. Hints.)


I've noticed my style of writing has changed, I guess spending an hour on cracked.com changes your perception on writing style.


* * *


But as I was saying I've got to get back into shape, I wonder what I'd look like if I was totally ripped. But then if I was totally ripped 'the chicas' would only consider you because you were ripped. So what's the point of getting ripped?


Useless entry I know.


Let me just post a picture!


Oh great the picture is all the way there!


Chicas like dogs ne?


LOL


Sorry, I'm feeling a tad bit uppity.

:D



Sunday, 27 September 2009

The Return of the Shenanigans

For crying out loud I haven't posted an entry in like forever.

Seriously I wonder if I've suddenly forgotten my love for writing, and the long shenanigans I'd often tell people about writing as the only art I practice.

I can't bloody maintain a blog, nor have I maintained one properly. :S


Seriously I'm such a hypocrite sometimes. x]


Let's start with an update shall we?


I am extremely annoyed, my mind is constantly perplexed with the constant "crap" I get and I want to seriously murder the next person who would try and piss me off (or Soulja Boi - honestly I seriously don't get his songs sometimes, and how is his name spelt? Is it one damned word/name? Maybe his real name is Soldier Boy. No offense Soldier Boy! :).  <-- look a bracket and a smiley.

Apart from that, things are getting rather blissful, if any of you care to know, and I'm turning into a rather busy chap these days.

Okay back to my frustrations.

Did I tell you about how annoyed I was?

Let me tell you a little story, imagine you were a dinosaur and you were the kick-butt Tyrannosaurus Rex and you wanted to hug someone, but it was hard because you had small arms and you couldn't reach and therefore this pissed you off. (According to "scientific claims" made by Rita Christophi, some bloody high-school blogger who shares my opinions on things. Love you Rita xD) So every time you tried to hug that green dude who's always scared of you, you know that one with a Mohawk that's gotten so hard with gel that it turned into bone through its back? (Yes according to my research he had a hairy back so he decided to gel that too) Stegg Stegosaurus? You'd be unable to hug him lest you push your freak face in front of his and scare the living shenanigans out of him. (Have I been using the word shenanigans too much now? Shenanigans. Shenanigans. Shenanigans!) So then you're annoyed because you can't hug him because he thinks you want to have him for brunch in between your quesadillas. 

So in turn you want to tear him apart for being so judgmental, you know like rip his little head off and chew till your molars feel like their John Rambo (wait was he called John right?).

Seriously what started out to be a stupid story is actually describing what I feel. >.<

It's just that I haven't eaten anyone yet, because my last name is Tengco and not Lecter and I don't want a cheap Filipino B-rated horror movie made out of my story. (I love Philippine cinema but have you seen the B movies?) I wonder what it would be called "Pananahimik ng mga Kambing", "Rennie-bal" perhaps? And I'm not balding! >.<>

You know sometimes I want to do something out of care (and sometimes [only rarely] affection) and they think you wanna bite their heads off?


By the way for the record please substitute Stegg Stegosaurus for Polly the Penguin if you guys start thinking I'm a homosexual. No offense to that group either, we all cool B-).


For the record I am not gay.


(I think Rita is!)


LOL


Anyways the show is up on Thursday and you're all invited.

For a minimal fee that is.

;)

Anyways.

I'm done with tonight's post...


Cheers.

Saturday, 29 August 2009

Empty Glass

Well the week was pretty uneventful apart from the more than occasional arguments with my dear Nikki, whom I really want to murder on more than frequent occasions as well, but I guess it's part of the package.

Let's see I'm alone in the office merrily tapping away at my laptop whilst listening to some trance from the master DJ himself, Van Dyk. I've been actually wondering fro a few hours now if I should get his album instead of the Classic Crime's one.

I've been drifting to electronica now, and I guess I need a couple of new tunes to add to my overflowing harddrive.

So why am I alone?

Well let's just say everyone is out or I've probably come too late to come with them, or have arrived to early to not wait for them to come back.

*sighs*

I'm seriosuly not in my mind churning mood, my throat's been iffy for a week now and it's seriously not helping.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Paper Hearts...

I guess I procrastinated so much that i forgot, anyways I shall procarastinate again and post up my short story later.

Later, meaning not so soon okay?

Haha