Friday, 15 August 2008

Endless Riddle

I've kept and succesfullly maintained my hyperactive state for about 3 days now, as Marvie couldn't have said it better "be happy". Well yes, I tend to forget about any mindless problem that gets in my way. Letting go with nothing but a carefree thought.

My personal key to optimism is any problem that cannot be solved or worked at immediately or at the time being, is not a problem that you should constantly worry about. This attitude doesn't mean forgetting that you do have a problem but every problem requires a deep thought. Upon resolving it, a time for reflection. But since you cant do things instantly why worry about them? Give them a thought and have a plan to implement. You have to pray of course and seek His guidance. Soemtimes the best slution is to wait for clarity before making decisions.

* * *

A recent phonecall just now, has left me in a mindless riddle. The sort where you are not given many clues and less space to manoveur - leaving the riddler in control of the situation. It was simple, I should be seeing something that i cannot see, or i've seen that i've ignored. Seems ironic that i've put it in these terms. Hanging up - I've realised some things:
  1. What is going on?
  2. Are the people that i trust involved somehow?
  3. What did i miss out?
Annoying in a sense hat you don't know what your dealing with. Confused as you the reader could be at the moment. It could be anything to a major flaw in my character, soemone I've hurt, a couple of hurtful words said to the wrong person, a misjudgment, the happy-go-lucky in me taking over some aspect in my personality - or what i fear some plain flaw that i know of and been trying to correct. I fear in a sense that I've wasted time on this nonsense.

There are other things in my mind that seem to be dragging me down. This has been the second layer in the cake as you might call it. I know that some people are hiding things from me, I deserve to know a couple of facts about a certain issue, someone wants to burst out in anger over something that has got to do with me, and I've unwittingly hurt a couple of people and haven't or may have realised then ignored it.

You could call it "High-School" issues all over again. This time in a very bland exercise of hurt people and i the instigator of the pain.

what could be extremely surprising right now is finding out that is all nothing but useless and miserable "wild goose chases" in my imagination. Funny, how i seem to be annoyed at this.

a whole article seemingly dedicated to the question:

"Now someone please tell me what is going on?!"

I don't even seem to want to proof read this, well I'll probably read it once i click "Publish Post"


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