Sunday, 29 March 2009
Okay so it's about 10.20 pm and all the technology around me seems to be falling apart. From the certificates problem on my browsers and the synchronisations that always seem to fail.
Anyways, a sucky day.
Chairmanship at the MUN feels bland, rather I feel really n00b?
Surrounded by veterans and me still in the dark. Protocol doesn't come easy. Plus worrying about schoolwork and the production, you tend to forget to suck it all in and to put it in the best words "be a man". Hard in a way that you have so much responsibility
Sometimes I seem to be running in circles and not getting anywhere.
It's like running on a treadmill.
You get the exercise but you get no sense of achievement, the monotony of it causes the reaction, different from a real hike in the sense that accomplishment seems to be so easy to grasp.
The feeling of fulfilment complete.
I guess it's time for me to suck it all up.
Enough with the venting...
Friday, 20 March 2009
I just got home from the now becoming ritual of clubbing every weekend. Honestly I feel rtaher guilty since I feel I don't work hard enought to desreve anight out, but frequent "burnouts" probably mean I do deserve a night out. Anyways we went to this place to check out James and his crew, I'm hands down on their perofrmance they did put on quite a show. Now I have no second thoughts of having them at ZCCB. They are assets xD.
Awww there I go with the compliments.
I feel like I've been giving out too many nowadays. Nobody really believes stuff I say, it gets rather annoyining since I promised myself I'd mean everything I say, people still don;t belive me.
* * *
I'm officially registered to do my A-level examinations on June, this means straight two months of constant studying. I'm worried really... I really want to do well but I feel like I'm not doing enough... There's just too much on my mind. I know I can probably manged but I really need a breather right now. I already got to the party wind now i need a winddown.
What would be nice?
Probably a massage...
Someone to talk or vent on for an hour
and some comfort food... please.
it's 2.21 am
I think I need some sleep.
Why is everyone sleeping?!
Monday, 9 March 2009
listening to: the television and the hum of the coolers
This is post Number 67 and my stomach hurts really badly.
I had some milk. I figured it would neutralise whatever acid I had in there causing it but it still aches badly.
I just finished deleting all my mail and read all he Investopedia mails I got sent. It was a slight pain but you do learn something, I think that ws one of the purposes I subscribed to their mailing list.
I often wonder am I really making the right choice to pursue business?
My stomach is hurting me badly.
We had the youth presentation today at the Sunday Service at Church. I think it was a success and I have a video of it in my camera, it was cool watching it all you see was our white gloved hands. Thank you Lord for that.
Man this hurts bad. >.<
Don't you often find it funny that people complain about not being in relationships when they don't even being single. Half the people who say they're single and happy are all probably a bunch of hypocrites. Sometimes saying you enjoy something completely different is just a method to attract attention. Other times the person could actually be right but I often wonder when you are in a relationship would think vice-versa: "what did being single feel like?"
But you know theirs always that kick in being in a relationship taht we're all looking for. That's one reason why we never enjoy being single and never are actively single but more passively.
I'm not even making sense.
I have Karate tomorrow.
There I have to go out in the night then.
I don't remember what it feels like staying at home for the whole day anymore.
I have a ton of accounting homework x(
I'm acting like a kid now...
Sunday, 8 March 2009
Today we've got the hand mime presentation in Church so I can't go to work today.
Reminds me I still have to check on this "one", I have to see if she's alright. I'll probably do it tonight.
I've had a strange realisation today.
Sometimes instead of being a good friend I end up being a teacher. At most times friends need you as a friend. Sometimes I tend to use my brain more than my heart coz deep inside I care about my friends so much that I find myself accountable for anything bad that happens to them. That' why I end up giving lectures instead of giving them the listening ear. But as Amira often tells me, I've got to use my heart. Yes I can reprimand and use my logic, but I'm not going to be a good person until I learn to use my heart.
* * *
We have ticket prices ready already and its all bliss. We just have to recheck on things. Then onwards we go.
I want more work on my head at the office actually.
I registered for a couple of exams btw, tahts about 5 units that have my name down for.
Oh crap, I have a ton of Accounting homework. I'll do it tomorrow.
Was that the silent voice of prcrastination Renzo?
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
I think the most common emotion I often experience is one of annoyance.
To put it this way it is getting really annoying that you're often annoyed.
Honestly. I don't know if I even made sense up there.
Today was Mom's birthday, unfortunately it passed without anything too extravagant since dinner arrangements were postponed till Friday (everyone was busy or too caught up with appointments). Bummer really I was expecting a formal sitdown thing today. I guess I have to wait till tomorrow.
Day went off with the usual stuff, had an economics lesson in the fourth period then a business one at 12.30. I left school at 1.30 ish to go pick up Habeel's new puppies. They got two pugs, who scared the crap out of Pierre - his toy poodle- when he finally put them all together at his place. Had lunch with him and Haya then got picked up by the folks. Lazed around in bed had some Cinnabon. Studied for an hour. Went online and chatted for awhile. Left the house at around 7.30, got to Church at about 8.06 pm. We had practice for this presentation on Sunday. (Btw I was an hour late *sigh*)
Went to Nikki's place with Jayce to pick up Toorani's charger and my N95 after practice and stayed for awhile.
Walked back to Church with Naj on the phone, wondering where Jayce went off to.
Vented to Naj on the phone.
You know God is good.
He's got perfect timing, and allows perfect coincidences.
I got dropped off by Kuya Larj & Te Steph and I got a shot at some lessons on life. Things that I should've heard a long time ago.
Really surprising you know, everytime I had a problem the unique calculations of life had them dropping me off... alone with both of them to help console me.
I don't want this "problem" bugging me, or should I say "these". I need more time alone.
I need God.